Did you hear the good news? No, Trump is still our president. Sorry. I meant the OTHER good news. No, Harry Styles didn't write his new song about you. Sorry.
You know, Mercury is in retrograde until December 22nd? Oh, that's not good news? MY BAD!
FML, indeed.
Photo: Pinterest
"It's Mercury retrograde? FML."
Ryan Gosling could make things better, I suppose.
Photo: MemeGenerator
"Hey girl, hang in there. It's just Mercury retrograde."
Take two aspirin and call me when Mercury Retrograde is over.
Photo: MemeCrunch
"Go home, Mercury Retrograde. You're drunk."
I can't be held responsible for what I say during Mercury Retrograde, OK?
Photo: Pinterest
"I'm sorry for the things I said when Mercury was in retrograde."
Do NOT pass go. Do NOT collect $200.
Photo: Wordpress
"Mercury Retrograde. Proceed with caution."
Anyone else singing Bohemian Rhapsody?
Photo: Tumblr
"May your Mercury be more Freddie and less retrograde."
I'm hiding in my bedroom until May.
Photo: MemeGenerator
"Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife. Mercury is in retrograde."
Just blame it on Mercury!
Photo: Pinterest
"Mercury made me do it."
YEAH! What she said.
Photo: Pinterest
"When Mercury Retrograde knocks you down ... get back up, smile, and shout 'You hit like a bitch!'"
I'm going to say a little of both.
Photo: Pinterest
I do NOT volunteer as tribute for this!
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"Happy Mercury Retrograde. May the odds be ever in your favor."
Can you not?
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"Hey Mercury, it's me. Can you not right now?"
Not quite yet, Kanye. Not quite yet.
Photo: Pinterest
"Waking up to the end of Mercury retrograde be like ... "
There's a type for everything.
"Retrosexual. When you hook up with an ex during Mercury retrograde and blame it on the stars."
Happens all the time.
"I don't always find relevance in astrology, but when I do, it's Mercury retrograde and I'm doing something on the computer."
Not a smart move.
"Trying to communicate with a guy under Mercury Retrograde... while on your period.'
Let's ponder the meaning of life, shall we?
"Mercury in retrograde? Tell me again how celestial magic controls your entire life?"
Space has it's own version of problems.
"Mercury retrograde? Aliens."
Well, maybe this time I'll make an exception.
"Hey honey, it's Freddie Mercury Retrograde."
Preach! I know I don't.
It never does.
"When your friend says they met someone during Mercury retrograde & you know it's not going to last."
Mercury retrograde.
"Say Mercury retrograde one more time."
Even super heroes run scared.
"I'm not up for fighting today. Mercury is in retrograde."
KAPOW!
No Mercury retrograde in here.
Oh yes he can.
"I bought you a cupcake."
"I don't want that shit."
"WTF. Why are you being an asshole."
"Because Mercury's in retrograde!!"
"Dude You can't just use that as an excuse to be a jerk!!"
"Mercury retrograde!"
Holding on for dear life.
"Brace yourself. The Mercury retrograde posts are coming."
But what if it's true?
"Yea, if you can stop blaming everything on Mercury retrograde, that'd be great."
There, there. This too shall pass.
"Mercury is in retrograde."
Can you blame me?
I'm sorry for the things I said when Mercury was in retrograde.
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